Five Year Old Logic

It's been a long time since I've had a 3 minute conversation that covered like 56 topics. It's probably been since I myself was five. But now I have a daughter who is 5 and the luxury is mine once again. Luckily Haylee was in the backseat . . . and it was dark, so she couldn't see me trying to suppress my laughter.

Me: Oh, dang it! It's getting foggy. I hate that!

Haylee: What makes fog?

M: Well, it's kind of like clouds that are really close to the ground.

H: Tanner told me that rain is clouds so angry that they're pooping.

Silence . . . okay, and then laughter

H: Tanner's a liar, isn't he?

M: Well, I think Tanner likes to tease you.

H: Okay, so what makes rain.

M: (A brief explanation about evaporation and precipitation and blah, blah, blah.)

H: Where did you learn that?

M: Probably in school.

H: Like college?

M: No, probably long before that.

H: You went to high school!?

M: Yep. Believe it or not, I even went to Kindergarten.

H: (gasping) Was Mrs. Hall your teacher too!?

M: I hate to break it to you, but Mrs. Hall wasn't even born when I was in Kindergarten.

H: Oh, so she was still in heaven with me then?

M: Yep.

H: Then we go from heaven to being born to growing up to getting married to having babies! I'm never getting married. That's embarrassing.

M: Why is that embarrassing!?

H: Everybody's staring at you!

M: But you'll look so pretty! If you don't get married how are you going to have babies?

H: Do you have to be married to have babies?

M: (long awkward pause about the technicalities of that question) Um, yes, you most definitely do.

H: I guess I won't have any then.

M: But look how cute babies are! Look at Parker! Don't you want to be a mom?

H: Does it hurt to push out a baby?

M; Well, yeah, it does.

H: Yeah, not doing that. I'll hold other people's babies.

Stifled laughter

And she went right back to talking and singing to herself. There you have it folks, fog to an aversion towards marriage and childbirth in less than 3 minutes. Admit it. You wish you were me.

Seriously, tell me what you think.